Courteously Courteous.
14 Feb
I have been holding off on this post for a few days, as I hate to be preachy so early. But it strikes me that today is Valentines Day, so maybe it is appropriate to bring this up at a time where love and bitterness are comparable.
I would by no means consider myself to be a polite person 100% of the time (anyone who says they are, is a flat-out liar). I’ve often coined this as my ability to be brutally honest. The truth is, it is probably more of a laziness to find the right words in an eloquent and pleasing fashion. As uncouth as I can sound at times, I am an overall courteous person. And being overly observant as I am, lately I find myself surprised at the increasing lack of basic courtesy that exits in the area I live.
I say ‘basic’ because I am not looking for Ms. Manners School of Polite Behavior – anything over a grunt is impressive today. – And I say this ‘area’ because I have been in other parts of this country and world, and people do not act in this egotistical manner the way that we do around here. I realize that the greater NYC/NJ area is a rough place. That is after all where my natural intolerance stems from. But where did this sense of complete entitlement and self-importance in every aspect of our existence come from exactly?
At first I thought it was the mix of economic classes in close proximity; Nope. The hooptie and the Lexus both equally and effectively cut me off (without blinker of course) from the emergency lane. Then, I thought maybe it is an age issue; Perhaps it was just the youth as a result from the ‘everyone gets a trophy/don’t bully my kid mentality’. Wrong again. At least half of the rudeness I am met with is from folks older than me.
My Recent Experience:
The Youth
Each week, the same 20ish girl barges in on my professor in the middle of his lecture. Loudly and abruptly she walks into our 11am class at 11:30, or 11:45 announcing “hello” to no one in particular as she saunters across the room. This last time, when she requests to sign the attendance sheet, she is declined. Later, I overhear her proclaiming how disrespected she felt.
The Quasi-Wealthy
I attend a lecture series weekly where the average age range is about 35-70. This time, it is the same 60ish woman – who cannot turn the ringer off on her phone ever, and takes a call at least once per session, consistently causing disruption as she runs into the hallway. She is so loud that I can hear her conversation over the person giving the lecture – and each time, as she returns she lets the door slam behind her.
The Middle-Aged
Last week I am grocery shopping and there are only a few lanes open, on an evening before (gasp) snow. We all have full carts, but the store is by no means busy. As a cashier opens I see a visibly frustrated father with his 6-year-old son in tow, race over to secure first place. This man is so worked up that he literally almost knocks his kid out cold with the carriage – luckily another shopper grabbed the boy out of the way. Did it faze Dad as he was hastily unloading? Nope.
The Thirty-Something
Yesterday, I am in the library. While browsing I come across a gentleman upgrading his cell phone plan – with the call on speaker-phone. I am graced with listening to his concern for overage charges, and this carries on until I leave the area. Did I mention this is the library?
Over It
We treat each other so poorly, and then we complain that everyone else around us should treat us better. I am more important than you. My time is more valuable. Traffic should yield to me, because here I am – I’m going to accelerate and it doesn’t matter that I have the sign. I am Queen. I am King. My feelings. My needs. My ego. Me. Me. ME.
Please do not take my pleading for politeness as an indication that I am some dreamy, soft doormat. I do not let others push me around – if you pick a fight with me, you will certainly get it. If you are rude to me, I let you know. But up until I have to deal with choosing my path of bitchiness. I am the person holding the door or saying “Thank You” when most people scoff and take off into their egotistical oblivion. Maybe I sound self-righteous just like everyone I am complaining about – that’s for you to judge me as I am judging you.
But if we do nothing else today, just give a small act of humanity a try. Maybe the smile or graciousness you get in return will make your day a little bit better, and someone elses day better too.
Stepping off my soapbox,
OfficeWench


